JUNK MILES

Do you get bullied by your non-triathlete peers? Are you being told you’re “weird” for training as much as you do? Obsessed? Ridiculous? Maybe someone even says (out loud) that you are so lucky to have so little responsibilities thereby giving you all these “free” hours to put into working out.

I’m here to say, just bite your tounge and peddle off into the sunset. Do not let these naysayers get you down!

More times than not we need to be able to laugh at ourselves. Shrug off what others think, our own idiosyncracies and simply embrace who and what we are. It’s “ok”  if others don’t have the same level of commitment and are not willing to give up portions of their life for the sake of a few races throughout the year. It’s grueling, demanding and requires a ton of discipline, not to mention huge sacrifice. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it, right?

But the excitement, enjoyment and feeling of accomplishment make it all worthwhile. We are a pretty odd group and personally, I’m fine with that . Part of what makes this world such a fun place are the folks who are different!

Keeping that in mind, I found this list below…

Funny stuff, ENJOY!

5O WAYS TO IDENTIFY TRIATHLON OBSESSION   -BY SPENCE SMITH

50. You are over 30 and there is still someone in your life that you refer to as “coach”.
49. Your last bike cost more than your first car.
48. You have peed outdoors more times in the last year than you did in your first year of college.
47. You think of mowing the lawn as a form of cross-training.
46. You’ve worn a heart-rate monitor to bed.
45. And it wasn’t when you were sleeping.
44. You refer to the front hall of your house as the “transition area”.
43. When you get home from a training session at the pool, the newspaper is just being delivered to your house.
42. You have changed more flat tires this year than light bulbs.
41. The most frequently used software program on your computer is the one that keeps track of your workouts.
40. You have no idea why they call Cal Ripken Jr. “Iron Man” when, after all, he was a baseball player.
39. The first three items on your grocery list are Gatorade, power bars, and gels.
38. When you floss at night, it’s to get the bugs out of your teeth.
37. You refer to a watch with only a HR monitor as a “regular watch”.
36. When you see a drop of blood, your first reaction is that you spilled some red Gatorade.
35. You know how far you biked and ran last year to one-tenth of a kilometer.
34. You think the ultimate form of wallpaper is about 64 racing bibs.
33. A 19-year old kid who works in a bicycle shop knows more about you than your next-door neighbor.
32. Your children are more likely to recognize you if you put on your bicycle helmet.
31. You have a vanity license plate with the word “Kona” in it.
30. About half the shirts you own have at least a dozen logos on the back of them.
29. You don’t find the word “fartlek” in the least bit amusing.
28. When you refer to your “partner”, you mean neither your spouse nor the co-owner of your business but the person you run or bike with three times a week.
27. You shave your legs more often than your wife.
26. The closest you came to punching somebody was when they disagreed with your position on whether wearing a wetsuit amounts to cheating.
25. It doesn’t feel right that you can’t “clip “ in and out of the pedals in your car.
24. There is a group of people in your life about whom you are more likely to know how fast they can swim 100 meters than their surnames or occupations.
23. Some of the shorts you wear today are tighter than the ones you wore in high school.
22. You are frustrated with the latest Garmin Forerunner because its live readings have a margin of error of approximately three per cent.
21. There are two separate loads of laundry every week just for your workout clothes.
20. One of your goals this year is to be faster at getting out of your wetsuit.
19. You failed high school chemistry but you could teach a course on lactic acid.
18. All you want for Christmas is something called a carbon crank set.
17. You wore a digital watch to your wedding.
16. You have to have completely separate meals from your spouse.
15. Your bicycle is in your living room.
14. Your cookie jar is full of supplements.
13. In order to establish a new personal best, you considered peeing without getting off your bike.
12. One of your proudest moments is when you lost a toenail.
11. When a car follows too closely behind you, you accuse the driver of “drafting”.
10. When you went for a job interview, you wrote your social security number on your arm with a black marker.
9. Your spouse cried during Terms of Endearment; you cried during the television coverage of the Hawaii Ironman.
8. You are comfortable discussing the sensitivity of your nipples with other guys.
7. Your spouse is looking forward to the day when you will slow down and just run marathons.
6. You have paused in front of the mirror in your wetsuit and thought, “Hey, I look like Spiderman.”
5. You see no issue with talking about treatments for chafing or saddle rash at the dinner table.
4. You recently asked your spouse out for dinner by asking if he or she wanted to “fuel up” together.
3. For you, “bonking” no longer has a sexual connotation.
2. The magazine secretly tucked under your mattress has pictures of really expensive bicycles in it.
And the No. 1 sign you’re obsessed:
1. Most of this list doesn’t seem like a joke to you.

And then: 

Swim Happy, My Friends!